Grandpa Dick

 

I got to see my grandpa today.

That's still really weird to say - "got to see" instead of "I saw". After the flurry of what we now know so well to be a scary pandemic settled into our lives, our family (obviously) all stayed put in our own homes - that meant no family functions and no physical therapy for my grandpa. Now, after months of weakening muscles and low motivation, my grandpa is scarily close to giving up the ghost. My family won't allow this to happen, at least not until he turns 90. 

I say it's weird to say "got to see" instead of "I saw" because, as cheesy as it is, I always took my grandparents for granted before the pandemic. When my grandma started calling my mom nearly 20 times a day to tell her that "Dick (my grandpa) hasn't eaten in days" or "Dick woke up every hour last night", my mom realized the gravity of the situation - Dick was dying. He went to one rehab center for about a month where they unintentionally neglected him (it felt like they neglected him when, in reality, they were just severely overwhelmed due to the pandemic and demand for nurses and healthcare workers). He went to the hospital in critical condition for another month. And, now, he is in a much better rehab center where I can go right up to his window and yell at him through his screen.

I try to go as many times as possible because I know someday I won't be able to visit him anymore. He won't be able to flash his cute little peace sign that he is so pleased to do now that he has control of his fingers again. I feel guilty on the days I don't visit him or my grandma who is equally as lonely. And I feel guilty knowing that I will feel guilty in the future for not visiting them as much as I could have. But what don't I feel guilty about.